Making Connection is Inconvenient
Efficiency comes at a cost
Years ago, a good friend began sending me electronic greeting cards before every holiday. He is a thoughtful person, and I’m certain his intention was good. He wanted his friends to know he was thinking of them. The first few times one arrived, I opened it, waited for it to download, and watched the animated characters deliver a cheerful holiday message.
Eventually, I stopped opening them.
The cards had lost their meaning because they were automatically sent to everyone on a mailing list. They no longer communicated that my friend had thought of me during that particular holiday. They communicated that he had thought of me once, when he added my name to the list.
Technology made the greeting easier to send, but less meaningful to receive.
The same thing happens with automatic email signatures. When every message ends with “Thanks so much!” the words quickly stop communicating genuine gratitude. They become part of the template. That is the challenge with connection: efficiency can distribute a message, but it cannot make the message personal.
CONNECTION CANNOT BE AUTOMATED
We can communicate with hundreds or thousands of people almost instantly. We can send newsletters, schedule posts, distribute announcements, and reach an entire organization with one click. Those tools are useful. I am using one right now. But broadcasting information is not the same as making a connection. Connection occurs when someone believes the message was intended for them. It tells the other person:
I see you.
I took the time to speak with you, respond to your need, or acknowledge your contribution.
That cannot be accomplished through mass communication alone.
CONNECTION REQUIRES YOUR ATTENTION
Connection is often created through small actions: Writing a note that could only have been written to that person. Walking over to a colleague’s desk to express appreciation or ask how you can help. Calling on the phone for a conversation rather than a text or email. Responding to a message in a timely manner because you know the issue matters to the sender. Putting down your phone and looking at the person who is speaking to you. Remembering something they told you and asking about it later.
None of these actions is particularly complicated. But they require attention, time, and effort. They are also inconvenient.
A personal note takes longer than a group message. A phone call may interrupt your schedule. Listening carefully can delay your next task. Stopping by someone’s office may lead to a conversation you did not plan to have. That inconvenience is often what gives the gesture its meaning. The other person recognizes that you could have chosen the faster, easier, more efficient option—but you chose to be present instead.
LEADERSHIP CANNOT BE ENTIRELY EFFICIENT
Leaders must use their time wisely. They must establish systems, delegate effectively, and communicate efficiently. But leadership becomes transactional when efficiency is applied to nearly every interaction.
People do not experience connection because they received another perfectly formatted message from the leader. They experience it when the leader notices them, listens to them, and responds in a way that feels personal and sincere.
Be a High-Trust Leader. Take the time to connect personally with the people who matter. Trust grows when people feel seen, heard, and valued.